When it comes to my son, I was refusing to believe he was becoming Italian, but then he was 6 when we moved here 9 years ago so he's now spent most of his life in Italy. Yes, the inevitable happened, he got Italian characteristics. And that's not a wholly bad thing. Gaining some Italian love of life and Latin spirit has to be a good thing. But there are some negative ones. I give you, Driving..

When asked, I will always tell you I prefer driving in Italy to driving in the UK. Having your face smashed in by a West Ham supporter because in his opinion you changed lanes in front of him never filled me with love of driving. In Italy it's aggressive but rarely violent. Not many drivers have facial features rearranged by skinheads that enjoy watching overpaid fashion models kick leather balls around. The worst that might happen is hearing bad things about your mother and your lack of a father.

But then there's some really bad driving traits. The most annoying ones being: driving much too fast for the conditions, the inability to read the road, following too close (2 metres is not unusual, even at high speeds), and no mirror - indicate - brake - manoeuvre but brake hard - manoeuvre - indicate (possibly), mirror (what for, I checked my hair earlier?) It's all four of these that brought out the true Italian in my son. Riding his Vespa to school one morning, driving in damp conditions on the cobbled streets of Canale following a van too closely and too fast the van braked hard, indicated (there are variations) then turned. My son being too close hit the brakes, slid off and damaged his pride, Vespa and confidence.

I wanted to see the positive side - he might at last listen to his father and back off, slow down and read the road. Yesterday he was coming home on his Vespa. A Fiat Panda driven by a woman braked - indicated right then swung left.. My son, full throttle no doubt, ignored the apparent contradiction then realised she was swinging left to turn into a tight alleyway on the right. Too late. He hit the brakes, slipped, damaged his pride, Vespa and his parent's confidence.

The Vespa now has matching damage on each side. He hurt his wrist but that's about all. A story to tell the next day at school. Now we drive him to Canale..

Two accidents in two months - yes, my son is Italian! We've since sold the Vespa..